Christ in Yan

sometimes, some things are just not within our ability to achieve it.
things changes. for good or bad. from new to old.
people changes. for good or bad.
feelings changes too. for good and for bad.
i realised how people can change real fast.
forsaking the one who's been so close with for mths and yrs and suddenly left the person aside. for one cause, knew someone new.
not that i didn't know for the past few years, but i'm just trying to recap for myself again. remind myself.
friendship, is just like relationship at times.
once we gave in too much, trust too much in one, we often get hurt even easier.
i used to think, i shall not put in so much effort and love for the people ard me. but, as i said, we cant control everything.
i still do love everyone. think of everyone. for ppl who think that i dont even remember or cherish you, let me tell you. despite being so busy this season, all of u are on my mind. though we cant meet up as often, trust me, i'm constantly making arrangements for meetups.
to some of you, u may think u are not as important to me compared to others.
yes, i can firmly say, God is the first in my life. behind it, everyone is equal to me. except for those who've always been by my side supporting me, thanks. i really appreciate you all, u guys are definately mor than casual friends to me.

i dont know why i'm blogging this out of a sudden.
but i guess this issue has been in my heart for so long. other than God who knows everything, i think no one else knows.
sorry for being so cold to some particular people. i dont mean it. but ur actions, hurts me deeply. makes me dare not step in and interfere even more. perhaps of some ppl who've come into our roads individually, i can say, we've drifted apart.
where are the phone calls been to?
the meeting ups?
meals after duties?
GONE. all gone.
i wont run after it to chase for it. cos, if thats the choice, they're better people. go ahead. i may sound jealous, but i think, it's not jealousy now. it's where the friendship has gone to.
i'm down. no one knows. except God.
i fake a smile, just to encourage myself to be stronger than today.
the people who listens to me, knows me more, GONE. to elsewhere. a place that i dont know when i always know in the past.
what past is past now. even if it's just yesterday, i wont brood over it.
you guys have moved on. and it's my time too. the fact is, i did not stop, i merely slowed down my pace to think. and my conclusion is, go where you want to go. dont hinder my way, if u're here to. thanks.

christmas season. i shall cheer up and spice up my world and people ard me. =)
off day tmr for me. will be going to sch, meeting up with my classmates at 10am!!! gosh. lesser sleep.
after that, gonna meet aaron to warehouse look for some formal stuffs. then to support duty at expo.
sat, helpout at CCH then down to expo for 2 services. after my services, going down to town to meet the girlfriends. hopefully i can make it in time. =)
sun, 2 services. and it's official CHRISTMAS DAY!

okok, i blogged too much today. gtg. aching all over. nites.

posted by Yan @ 12/23/2005 12:05:00 AM