Christ in Yan

why is it that my reasons were wrong?
why is it that i have to accept ppl's lie?
why should i tolerate everything?
why must i have compassion?
why is it that i feel so lonely?
why do i find fault in ppl and not myself?

what is happening ard me?
what is the reasons?
what makes me not to let go of some stuffs?
what can i do for you?
what can i do for myself?
what is the best solution to all this?

when can i really see revival?
when can i have full co-operation?
when can i start to trust ppl ard me fully again?
when then i can have friends who'll continuous care for me?
when can i see my visions and dreams coming to past?

how can i make things happen?
how can those things happen?
how come i'm rated as too emotional?

am i not doing enough? i'm trying my best. i know friends dont like the idea of me doing certain things. or should i say dont like me doing everything. why do my ppl find fault with me? why is it that they cant understand who i am actually?

i dont expect too much. but i just need the minimal. ever single lil action affects me actually. perhaps i'm always so optimistic to get over things easily. and i dont wanna give a 2nd thought to the unhappy things. yes, i guess i'm trying to avoid from facing the fact. bt i am facing it now.

i wanna do the things i need to do. i dont wanna focus on things i dont need to right now.
i want no disliking from now on. i wanna learn how to love everyone.
i just wanna go to the best i can.
i dont want to appear as i always appear to be.
but there's no one for me to fall weak.
there's no shoulder for me to cry on.
i'm feeling the loneliness.

but the fact is, i cant fulfil everything. all this are gonna be perfect if i achieved it. and
i'm not a perfect person. there's many things i wished i didn't do.

``depressed me. =(

posted by Yan @ 6/25/2005 04:23:00 PM